My name is Nathan, and I have been involved in a relationship with another man for 8 months. When our relationship first started out, the love and connection was so strong, but after a few incidents, its grown bitter and there isn’t really any trust.
Recently he told me that I don’t “wow” him, and I found that he had been talking to someone else. He still tells me that he love me and wants to be with me for the rest of his life, but if he did, why would this be happening? I don’t know what to do, and he is very hard to get to open up about a situation such as this. We still sleep in the same bed and still have a healthy sexual relationship. He is constantly on his phone, which makes me feel uncomfortable because of the fact I have caught him talking to someone else and when he is on his phone I become extremely over bearing, which is something he told I need to work on. How do I work on that and how do I get my relationship back to being filled with love, passion, chemistry, and trust? I love him more than anything, and it’s worth working to fix.
YOUR NEW DIRECTION
I understand your situation. On one hand you love someone who says he loves you back. On the other hand, that same person has admitted they are not passionate about you. He still wants you to be there but he wants to seek passion from someone else. To me it is obvious that he does value your relationship and your companionship. The only thing that is missing is the excitement and adventure.
You could either choose to be your true self and find someone who appreciates you without having to play games, OR you can decide that you are more important than trying to win his affection back. Don’t break up with him. I want you to fall in love with life again.
Find an activity or a friend that you can involve yourself with. Find a passion that you always wanted to pursue. Go for a goal that you always wanted to accomplish. Immerse yourself in that thing and give it your all. Make sure it is something that has nothing to do with him.
He is probably bored with you because you have given up on living YOUR life and made YOUR life all about HIM. That’s boring to anyone. People like partners who love themselves and are always growing and learning and living life to the fullest.
Go out and DO SOMETHING AWESOME with yourself. Try to do something that improves your life and excites you. Continue to be loving toward him, but do not make him your center of attention anymore. Do not TRY to win him back. Do not TRY harder to get him to like you.
When you TRY to get someone to love you, it always backfires. Next time he makes a comment about you not being exciting enough, shrug your shoulders and start talking about that thing you are doing that excites you so much.
Reach deep inside you and figure it out. What is it that you ALWAYS wanted to do? Start planning and get started! The passion you have for your new goal or project will allow him to see your exciting side again. If he is the one for you, it will make him happier to see you happy. If he is not the one for you LONG TERM, then it won’t affect him and he will weed himself out.
Don’t TRY, just improve your life and be open to making new friends along the way.
Just try my advice and watch how much your life and love life improves!
I love you!